Day 18 -- Scattered
Sometimes being here now means acknowledging that I'm just not very together. That's the way it is. Pulling myself up by my psychological bootstraps is all very well, but how effective is it when it's 8:15 pm, I have at least an hour's proofreading ahead of me, and I'm committed to getting up at 5:30 tomorrow morning to run before work?
It's a minor stunner to realize that at this moment I'm willing to put the work off in order to write in this blog. Before the 21 day-athon, I regarded posting as something that required great forethought and the complicated assembling of mental and physical resources. But now, now it's an item on the to-do list. Go to work, make dinner, brush your teeth, post in your blog. Now that the essentials are taken care of, what's next?
I took this photo earlier this evening at the SF Transbay Terminal. I was waiting for the bus and refusing to give in to the inclination to check out of the day and into everything that called me from my new Smartphone. (Email! Facebook! The weather!) All around me commuters waited for their buses, mute, deeply sunken into their 3 x 5 glowing phone screens. Me? I felt just as stressed as they looked, and felt just as sullen, but I made myself take some deep breaths and told myself to--you guessed it--be here now. What the now held was the gentle light of a spring evening reflected off the tall buildings, and the gauzy lace of budding leaves trembling on the trees, which have been planted here and there to remind us all that in April the sap of life rises, even in the big city, and even at the bus stop.
It's a minor stunner to realize that at this moment I'm willing to put the work off in order to write in this blog. Before the 21 day-athon, I regarded posting as something that required great forethought and the complicated assembling of mental and physical resources. But now, now it's an item on the to-do list. Go to work, make dinner, brush your teeth, post in your blog. Now that the essentials are taken care of, what's next?
I took this photo earlier this evening at the SF Transbay Terminal. I was waiting for the bus and refusing to give in to the inclination to check out of the day and into everything that called me from my new Smartphone. (Email! Facebook! The weather!) All around me commuters waited for their buses, mute, deeply sunken into their 3 x 5 glowing phone screens. Me? I felt just as stressed as they looked, and felt just as sullen, but I made myself take some deep breaths and told myself to--you guessed it--be here now. What the now held was the gentle light of a spring evening reflected off the tall buildings, and the gauzy lace of budding leaves trembling on the trees, which have been planted here and there to remind us all that in April the sap of life rises, even in the big city, and even at the bus stop.
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