It's Not Easy Being Green

I had a therapist who one time said to me, "You don't always need to be so tough." My immediate, unthinking response was, "Of course I do!" (That would be me, to your right.)

I'm feeling a bit that way now, as if it's imperative for me to dig deep and do more than what feels doable. The marathon is next Sunday, and despite my training efforts I'm feeling woefully unprepared. But when I said to Z I'm considering just doing the half marathon ("just" doing 13.1 miles), he said you know how disappointed you'll be if you only do that. And he's right.

I know I can stay on my feet for 26.2 miles, but I also know I'll be mostly dead by the time I finish. My last month of training has not gone at all as I planned. I know, life is what happens while you're busy making plans (no duh). I didn't suffer any big injuries, but was pretty much felled by the juicy cold I came down with about two weeks ago. I struggled to do some mileage, but when I ran I was out of breath and my legs felt like wood. It probably didn't help that I flew to the East Coast for three days in the middle of trying to recover and trying to run.

Yesterday I went out for 8 miles, my last attempt at any distance before the big day. Around mile 5 my left hip started hurting. This is an old complaint, one that has come and gone for years and that I pretty much ignore as much as possible. It feels like what I've seen described as sciatica; that is, the pain starts at the point my pelvic girdle meets my spine and then travels left and all the way down my leg. Sometime it involves my knee, sometimes it doglegs east and feels like a groin pull. The worst of it is, I never know when to expect it.

I just got off the phone with A, my long-time masseur extraordinaire. I made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon (the only free time I have left before Sunday), and I'm throwing myself at his mercy. Plus I'm eating well and sleeping a lot and, oh yes, praying.

Because it is somehow very important to me to be tough, I plan to go through with this thing if at all possible. I feel it could very well be my last marathon, which, in my current frame of mind, seems just fine. I'll keep you posted.

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